Book Review-Stuff That Makes a Gay Heart Weep Back
“Stuff That Makes a Gay Heart Weep: A Definitive Guide to the Loud & Proud Dislikes
of Millions” by Freeman Hall
c.2010, Adams Media
$13.95 / $15.99 Canada
216 pages
It’s enough to make you scream.
Seriously, how many fashion faux-pas do you have to see before everyone understands
that Plumber’s Butt and muffin tops are not acceptable? Don’t those people look in
mirrors before they leave the house? Do you need to rent a plane and sky-write it: “Wear
pants that fit”?
It’s enough to make you want to break down in public, which you hate.
But that’s not the only thing that you hate. There are dozens more, as you’ll see in “Stuff
That Makes a Gay Heart Weep: A Definitive Guide to the Loud & Proud Dislikes of
Millions” by Freeman Hall.
So somebody gives you a bottle of cheap booze or wine. Or that box that made an
interesting sound when you shook it turned out to be a stupid gay T-shirt. Or you got
tacky home décor for Christmas. You know – the kinds of things that make you want to
simply crawl into a fetal position until it all goes away? That’s what you’ll find in this
Don’t you just hate it when your gaydar is broken? Or you miss “Real Housewives” one
too many times – or the Oscars? Or, OMG, you get a Facebook gift (what’s the use of
that??) or a lame status alert. OMG, it just makes you reach for the tissue.
Now that you think of it, so does the overuse of “OMG”.
And fashion? Don’t even start. Bad weaves, flip-flops with socks, sideways baseball
caps, crocheted ponchos, fanny packs, people who wear scarves in the summer. And
Capri pants. Who ever said they look good on anybody? You can feel your eyes filling
up now…
Justin Bieber. Now he really makes you want to bawl your eyes out. So does Richard
Simmons and a certain Mama Grizzly with lipstick. The Kardshians – sniff. Guidos and
Guidettes – sniff. And that Angelina Jolie and Hugh Jackman are NOT gay? Waterworks,
simply waterworks.
Virtual pets? Really? Like they’re better than a real cat or dog? And who puts a Snuggie
on their dog – or worse – a costume on any day except Halloween? Speaking of which,
don’t you hate when people go out for Halloween but don’t wear a costume?
Careful. You feel a crying jag coming on...
And if this book doesn’t make you weep from laughter, there’s something wrong. “Stuff
That Makes a Gay Heart Weep” is absolutely hilarious.
With his signature snarky sense of humor and his feel for the absurd, author Freeman
Hall pokes fun at kitschy, faddish, everyday things, places, and people that practically
beg to be ridiculed. In this book, there are over two hundred entries that are so
hilariously, awfully tragic that you don’t have to be gay to want to break down in tears,
even if you’re a guilty party. And once you’re done reading, you almost have to come up
with your own Stuff List.
Wrap yourself in your Snuggie because, OMG, you need a good laugh out loud. “Stuff
That Makes a Gay Heart Weep” is an absolute scream.
Terri Schlichenmeyer
The Bookworm is Terri Schlichenmeyer. Terri has been reading since she was 3 years old and she never goes anywhere without a book. She lives on a hill in Wisconsin with two dogs and 12,000 books.
